


The Peaches and the (Fairy) Godmother

by Norskabi



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Angst, Cheesy, Comfort, Family, Fluff, Gen, if they squint very hard, like cheesy angst, some will probably see some Rolivia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-06
Updated: 2021-03-06
Packaged: 2021-03-12 09:28:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,690
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29882523
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Norskabi/pseuds/Norskabi
Summary: After her abduction and Rachel's case, Amanda Rollins feels sad and adrift, but despite her own problems, she wants to be there for Benson. She just doesn't know how. Luckily for her, Jesse is ready to help her mother and godmother to feel better.Takes place after Must Be Held Accountable and The Longest Night of Rain.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 5





	The Peaches and the (Fairy) Godmother

**Author's Note:**

> Unfortunately, I don't own any of those characters.  
> Also, English is not my first language.  
> Enjoy.

Amanda Rollins was absentmindedly playing with the pages of her novel. Billie was sleeping peacefully and a few feet away, Jesse was lying on the floor of the living room, using Frannie as a pillow. The little girl was flipping the pages of one of her books, narrating to the dog what she could remember from the illustrations. Once in a while, Frannie would turn her head and lick her nose, eliciting some giggles.

"Eeww Frannie... Stop licking me and listen to the story !”

At some point after lunch, with her daughters busy either sleeping or reinventing greek mythology, Amanda had tried focusing on a novel she'd started reading months ago, but her mind had quickly drifted away. First, to Bucci, what he put her through, and how he could have killed her, and then to that last case they had. It had been a hard one on the squad. First with Olivia losing a friend who couldn't live with what happened to her anymore, then with Kat losing her former sergeant because he couldn't live with what he’d done anymore.

Amanda had shivered at the thought. Were some of her former colleagues from Atlanta feeling that guilty? Would she reach Rachel’s point of non-return someday?  
And then, of course, after the case, things got even worse, with Tucker putting a definitive end to his existence. Amanda didn't really care about the guy, so his death, while tragic, hadn't affected her too much, but she cared about Olivia, and seeing her friend so devastated while still trying to hold it together, business as usual, would have made her laugh in disbelief, hadn’t she been so heartbroken.

And so, there she was, fidgeting with the corners of her pages, instead of reading the story, her mind a whirlwind of heavy thoughts interrupted briefly now and then by Jesse's light giggles and Frannie's appreciative grunts when her daughter would scratch the dog's head. She was suddenly pulled out of her thoughts when Jesse stopped being interested in Zeus' shenanigans.

\- “Mama ? Maaamaaaa ?”  
\- “Yeah, what is it, sweetie?”  
\- "Are you sad? You look sad"  
\- “I'm not....”

Amanda interrupted herself. Of course she was sad, and of course her daughter would pick up on that, because of course she birthed a very perceptive and smart, albeit a bit shy, child. And as sweet as she might be, she could also be relentless. So the older blonde chose to try and be as honest as possible.

\- "Well, I am a bit sad because…”, she began, only to be immediately interrupted.  
\- “Because you work too much? Like when Aunt Liv came here and you were away for sooo long, and you cried on the phone and... “  
\- “I… yes”, Amanda cut in, "I work a lot. But also, Aunt Liv is very sad right now, and it makes me sad because I don't know how to help her..." Once again, Amanda stopped herself. She felt a bit ridiculous, sharing those very heavy and adult things with her four-year-old. Yes, Jesse deserved an honest answer to her question, she knew from experience how lying to a child, however young, could do some lasting damages, but maybe she could have stopped at work, instead of dragging Liv in the middle of the conversation. Oh God… What if Jesse asked *why* Aunt Liv was sad? She wasn't sure she was completely ready to dive into the concept of death yet, and…

\- “We can do a cake?" Jesse shouted excitedly, flapping her hands, and really, her whole arms, with trepidation.  
\- "I... what?"  
\- "A _cake_ Mama", she repeated, as if it was the most normal answer, "or your happy cookies. They'll make Auntie Livie all happy again!"

Jesse was so excited at the prospect of doing something for her "Auntie Livie", Amanda couldn't help a soft chuckle. She was a bit skeptical, though, because, first, when was she not? And second, she highly doubted some Georgia pastries would solve all of Benson's problems. But seeing her daughter beaming with joy at the idea, she relented almost immediately.  
At best, it might bring a smile on Liv's face, and that was sorely needed.  
At worst, she would have spent her Sunday afternoon having fun with Jesse and Billie, who was beginning to stir in her sleep, her timing always impeccable.

Amanda decided it was worth the risk, and scooped Billie, now awake. Billie who immediately proceeded to flail her arms in her sister's direction, and then became hysterical when Jesse actually joined her in their mother's embrace.  
On her way to the kitchen area, Amanda peppered the two blonde heads on her chest with kisses, Billie flailing her arms some more as a result, and Jesse laughing and squirming, trying to escape the relentless onslaught of her mom. By the time they got to the kitchen, everyone was laughing, and Frannie's curiosity was piqued: all her humans in the kitchen at once usually meant some treats.

Once in the kitchen, Amanda put Jesse back on the floor, using her now free arm to grab some peaches from the freezer, and let them defrost while they would prepare the rest of the ingredients. Then, she sat Billie in her chair, giving her some toys to play with, or to chew on, depending on her mood and her teeth — that girl really spent too much time with Frannie — but Amanda was pretty sure her younger child would actually entertain herself enough by watching what was happening in the kitchen.

\- "So", the oldest Rollins began, "what do we do first?"  
Jesse, who was giving Frannie some belly rubs, ran to her mother, shouting.  
\- "WE WASH OUR HAAANDS!"  
\- "Exactly", Amanda approved, "I'm sure Liv doesn't want Frannie's hairs in her pastries. Or yours."  
She taped her daughter’s nose several times with her pointer finger to emphasize her words, before cupping her chin and planting a kiss on that same adorable little nose. She then fished some hair ties from the bottom of her pocket, tied her daughter's hair into a ponytail and soon, their four hands were clean and ready to work.

\- "Do you remember what we need for those?" Amanda asked.  
\- "Humm... sugar, eggzz...peaches…"  
Amanda was putting the ingredients on the working area at the same time, and was now waiting for the remaining items to be named, but none came.

\- “I think our pies are missing something there, honey… “  
Jesse scrunched up her little face in concentration, trying to remember. She looked at the ingredients already there... Oh, the big white bag was missing. And the butter!

\- “Flour! and butter! ", the little girl proudly blurted out, earning an approving hum from her mother and an excited shriek from her little sister.

The next fifteen minutes were spent mixing the dough together. Jesse was delighted to use her hands to mix and crush and malax everything together, and suddenly Amanda was five again, helping her gran doing those same pies. Every time she was baking them or eating them, all her worries would go away, if only for a moment. It had been so long since she last made them, even though it was probably the only thing she could cook. She never found the energy to make some just for herself, and Jesse was getting just old enough to actually appreciate them. They've had their first baking session only a few weeks prior, and, clearly, it had made a very positive impression on her eldest. She made a mental note to try and do that more often. A part of her was happy to share the result of that afternoon with Olivia, and she berated herself silently that it took a suicide and Jesse's insistence to get there.  
Once again, Jesse shook her out of her thoughts, because the dough was now all "Eewy and gross". It was time for step two.

They poured the peach preserves into a bowl, and Amanda checked on the quarters of peaches that she left out to defrost earlier. They were now soft enough to cut. She pulled out a piece out of the bag and gave it to Billie, who immediately began to gnaw at it. She froze for a few seconds at the coldness, her eyes wide and her whole little body still, before putting the fruit back in her mouth with some enthusiastic giggles and gurgles. Her mother chuckled at the sight, and as she was about to cut the rest of the peaches, Jesse tried to reach for the knife.  
\- “Nuh huh, Jesse, we've talked about that. Mama is the only one who can use the pointy knife for now. It's dangerous”  
\- “but I wanna help!"

Amanda looked at the little dejected face and let out a heavy sigh.  
\- “I just want you to keep all of your fingers as long as possible ", she tried, just as a lone tear rolled down Jesse's cheek. She sighed again. Her mother popped out suddenly in her thoughts. Had she cried to do something when she was Jesse’s age, she would probably have earned a slap in the face, punctuated by a “now you know why you’re crying, at least”, before being shoved out of the way. She very obviously wasn’t about to use that same approach, and she surprised herself wondering what would Liv do? Probably some kind of bargain, giving something away but still keeping something. Just moving the line a little bit.

\- “Ok baby, how about this: I cut those peaches myself, you watch, and then we will cut those last three pieces together? Hmm? How does that sound?"  
A tiny nod and an equally tiny sniffle answered her question. She made quick work of the fruits, and by the time she was finished, Jesse was eagerly awaiting her turn. Amanda put her hands over her daughter's smaller ones, and, very carefully, they cut the last of the peaches and poured them with the preserves.

It was now time for the final step: actually making the cookies.

Amanda separated the dough in tiny spheres on the parchment paper, and then, with the "help" of Jesse, she shaped them into "little lakes" — Jesse’s words, not hers — and her daughter's little pies sure looked like odd shaped volcano craters. Pouring the peaches into the lakes was then a quick affair, and in no time, the cookie-pies were in the oven.  
While Amanda's favorite part of Georgia was slowly baking, Jesse decided that Aunt Liv “abso-lu-te-ly!” needed a drawing to go with the peachy pastries. She scampered away into the living room, promptly followed by Frannie, who was still waiting for a treat and knew her little human was easier to convince. To her disappointment though, Jesse began drawing, not really paying any attention to her. With a sad whine and a loud huff, she went back to the kitchen, where Amanda was cleaning up the little mess they’ve just made.

“Aww girl... You'll have a treat in a few, just be a good girl and sit.”

The oldest Rollins indulged her loyal companion with some scratches when Frannie seized the opportunity to sprawl on the kitchen's floor, much to Billie delight, before finishing with the kitchen. Once satisfied, she checked on the cookies, swooped Billie up and went to see how the drawing was going. It turned out, it was going pretty well.

“Why did you draw Liv with a wand, honey?” Amanda asked, bending over to kiss Jesse's head.

  
“Because she's a godmother, right? Like Cindyrilla's? You think she can make Frannie a pony?”

Amanda stifled a laugh in Billie’s soft hair.

“You'll have to ask the next time you see her, and see what she can do. Now, let's go back to the kitchen. Frannie wants a treat, and the cookies are ready.”

The peach pies were cooling down, and Jesse was allowed to give one treat to Frannie, so, of course, she gave her two, and was rewarded by some enthusiastic wet kisses all over her face.

Later this evening, after more laughs, a movie, several pies and lots of cuddles, Jesse had a final request to show her “fairy” godmother how big “we love her” and wanted to write a note before going to bed.

Again, Amanda agreed almost immediately, her daughter's naive and honest energy getting to her. She, too, wanted to show Liv she loved her, and that her friend could count on her. She was suddenly reminded how much she came to hate her walls. They served her well in the past, but they became a prison along the way. Her therapy had been interrupted before she could get to that part, and she felt, again, a bit guilty. This time, for using her daughter to convey feelings and emotions. But hey, Jesse was happy to do something for her Aunt Livie, and no one was going to be hurt in the process.  
After helping Jesse with the note, taking her little hand in hers to write what she was saying, Amanda put it with the drawing and sealed the envelope. She knew otherwise she might chicken out in the morning, and never give it to Liv with the pastries, and she was tired of her walls. Even if she was still scared of coming out of their shadow, it was the perfect opportunity. If she could be brave enough to face a gun to her head, she definitely could be brave enough to give a fuckin’ note to the fuckin’ godmother of her fuckin’ daughters.

* * *

It wasn't even 8:30 and Captain Benson was already tired.

Tired of her paperwork, tired of her phone incessantly interrupting her, tired of her own tiredness. After a deep sigh, she laid back on her chair and glanced at the squadroom. Fin was valiantly pretending that everything was fine, but one look at the uncharacteristically silent Tamin and Rollins would tell nothing could be farther from the truth. Amanda, especially, was so quiet, so forlorn, she looked five seconds away from bursting into tears.

Olivia let out yet another sigh.

In the frenzy that was the aftermath of Bucci's case and Amanda's subsequent kidnapping, she hadn't found the time to check on her friend. And if she was totally honest with herself, she thought Amanda would just bounce back, for some reason. Or reach out, if she needed help. Now, after Rachel's suicide, the quiet sadness radiating from Amanda had a very different taste, and Benson admonished herself for how ridiculous she had been. Yeah, sure. A survivor bouncing back like a breeze after being kidnapped and held at gunpoint. In a motel. Amanda fucking Rollins, _reaching out_. She scoffed. Great job, Benson! What a good SVU Captain you are! What a good friend!

For the third time in less than fifteen minutes, Benson sighed.

She hadn't been there for Rollins when she needed her the most, and now she wasn’t sure how to proceed, her own sadness about Tucker permeating her thoughts.

After trying, and failing, to focus back on her work, the Captain decided it was time for a coffee. When she came back from the break room, her precious fuel in hand, a mysterious tin box was on her desk, an envelope on top of it.  
Intrigued, she placed her mug near her computer, put on her glasses and delicately opened the envelope. She was greeted by a very cute drawing and a note. She let herself fall back into her chair, her eyes watering.  
There she was, beside Amanda, holding Billie and a … magic wand, for some reason? While Frannie was floating? Flying? Noah was there too, with some impressively fluffy hair that made her chuckle through the tears. Everyone seemed to enjoy themselves, and Liv had to close her eyes for a moment to regain some control. After everything that happened in the last few months, this simple drawing and the thought of little Jesse making it for her were just… Too overwhelming. They needed to get more time together. Why didn’t they? Liv glanced at the drawing one last time before shifting her focus to the note, and swore to herself that drawing would come true before the end of the month. Probably minus the floating Frannie and the magic wand.

The note was equally cute, and Benson was actually amazed Amanda dared give it to her… just before running away to court.

_Aunt Livie!  
Mama says you're sad, so she's sad. So I say we bake cookies! It's Mommy’s special happy cookies with peaches, and they make people happy again!  
I want you to come with Noah, so we can play and make more pies, with your little peaches. And so you can try to make a pony with Frannie.  
I hope you have a happy day!  
Plenty of kisses from your little peaches! _

She inhaled deeply and smiled: Olivia had called Jesse and Billie her “little peaches” a couple of times during Billie's baptism, and clearly, it had made an impression. She wasn’t sure what the pony was all about, and she took a mental note to ask Amanda. Still smiling, she reached for the box and opened it. The smell of vanilla, peaches and cinnamon was too good to resist, and she decided one cookie was needed with her coffee. She took a bite and agreed with Jesse: cookies and pies definitely make everything better.

Several hours and as many cookies later, her pile of work had diminished greatly. Sadly, a new case soon required her attention, and with Rollins still in court, she sent Fin and Kat over to meet the victim at the hospital.  
She was about to dive back into her paperwork when she saw Amanda entering the squad room. She caught her detective's eye and beckoned her over.  
Giving her those pies and that note must have required all of Rollins’ courage, so the Captain wasn’t surprised when the blonde's whole demeanor immediately changed, from business as usual to deer in the headlights.

"Come on Rollins, I don't bite. And I'm full with your cookies anyway. Have a seat."  
She gestured to the couch.  
"Ok".

Once the younger woman was seated, Liv took place at her side, rubbing her hands on her thighs and taking a deep breath.

"So, apparently, I have some little peaches to thank. And a pony to summon out of Frannie?”

Amanda didn't answer. Couldn't answer. She just blushed instead, before clearing her throat.

“Yeah. Huh. The only godmother Jesse knows is Cinderella’s. So, you’re kind of a fairy for her right now.”  
“Ha. A fairy”, Olivia laughed softly, “I’m afraid she’s going to be disappointed by my lack of magical abilities.”  
“Probably”, Amanda smiled in return, “but she still adores you and will probably imagine you want to keep it a secret… or are under some kind of curse, or something.”

After a short silence, the two women looked at each other for a brief moment. Amanda was the first to turn away, clasping her hands between her thighs and trying to stop herself from crying.  
She couldn’t.  
Liv saw the quiver of her lower lip, the escape of a few tears, and tried to say something.  
She couldn’t either.  
She just laid a hand on a nearby knee and squeezed gently. She realized she was crying herself, and let out a shuddered breath. What a fantastic pair they were. Crying alone with each other. A mighty dynamic duo.  
At this point Amanda realized there was no point in trying to flee or hide anymore, so she laid her head on Liv’s shoulder, hugging her arm loosely. Benson was surprised at first, but she soon rested her cheek on top of blonde hair, patting Amanda’s knee to reassure her.

They stayed a while like this, crying, letting go, and enjoying the silent comfort and warmth they were providing to each other. At some point, Amanda decided to talk.

“I’m okay, you know.”

Liv just scoffed.

\- “Ok, I’m not _okay_ , okay. But I know I will be? And I know you’re there? So I know everything will be fine in the end.”  
\- “I’m always there. Always, for my little peaches... And don’t you roll your eyes, Rollins, I mean it.”

Amanda did roll her eyes, but when she felt a kiss on the top of her head, she melted immediately into more quiet tears, and held tighter on Olivia’s arm.

After a few more minutes, it was the Captain’s turn to break the silence.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t there earlier. I should have checked on you after Bucci… After he took you. I should have talked to you after Rachel… After that case. I... I didn’t, and I apologize.” She felt Amanda shrugged slightly against her. “And don’t you dare shrug that away. You’re important too. You deserved someone in your corner the way you’re in mine.”

She wouldn’t admit it out loud, but Amanda was relieved by the apology. She hummed, her way to accept it, and nestled closer against her Captain.

“How are you holding up?”  
“Same as you are. It’s bad right now, but I know it will get better eventually, and it’s enough for now. And those tiny peach pies did help. A lot. I really need to thank Jesse for that. And I need to have a conversation with her about Noah’s hair. He’s not _that_ fluffy.”

Amanda chuckled. This little, precious hour with her friend really did wonders on her. She felt refreshed, somehow. Lighter. Safer.

\- “Why don’t you come by with Noah Saturday afternoon to tell her? And try to turn my poor dog into a horse?”  
\- “Ha ha ha ha. Okay. Let’s do that. I want to learn the secret behind those pastries. I’ll teach you to cook some lasagnas in exchange.”  
\- “Captain, you’ve got yourself a deal.”  
\- “Do I need to bring something?”  
\- “Just your wand, I guess?”  
\- “Ah yes. The fairy godmother and her little peaches. Of course.”

They fell back into a companionable silence after that, Amanda never letting go of Liv’s arm. When Kat and Fin’s return sent them back to work, they dived in with renewed energy, looking forward to their next Saturday.


End file.
